


just once

by taylorstwice



Category: IZONE (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Sad Ending, and eunbi would always be for hyewon, hyewon would always be for eunbi, i dont know anything but angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:49:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28385037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taylorstwice/pseuds/taylorstwice
Summary: Kang Hyewon will do anything to see her, even just once.
Relationships: Kang Hyewon/Kwon Eunbi
Kudos: 17





	just once

_*If you can, please listen to Just Once by Young Jae of 4men, sadly the song is not on Spotify : < (it adds to the feels, trust me)*_

Kang Hyewon walked the same familiar streets just like the other day, faint traces of tiredness littered in her eyes as her gaze ran through the people coming and going, the beat of her heart in rhythm with the steps of these people, yet no one managed to look like the person she had been trying to look for. 

_“나 처음 그대 모습 떠오르네요,”_

_“I think of the first time I saw you,”_

It was blurry, and it was distorted, but if there was anything that Hyewon knew, it was that her heart, the only thing that she trusted in this world, the thing that kept her going, never forgets. Her heart, the thing that keeps bothering her to walk the same familiar streets, to look at the same places, misses someone. It remembers someone.

That tight curled smile. That mole. Those eyes.

Images that she once remembered with her head, now only lived in her heart.

_“어쩌면 다신 볼 수 없단 맘에 아파요.”_

_“My head hurts at the thought of never seeing you again.”_

Despite the bandage on her arm, despite the busted lip, despite every bruises she has on her face and body, Hyewon still kept walking. She kept her eyes forward, never faltering from searching, investigating each face that she could see, waiting for that familiar spark, that familiar tingle that her heart longed to feel for a long time. She kept walking.

Forward, never look back.

She couldn’t find it in her to stop.

_“시간을 되돌려 그댈 다시 볼 수 있다면,”_

_“If I can turn back time and see you again,”_

Everything shined so brightly in Hyewon’s eyes and it felt so…weird to be walking all alone herself in these streets, the feeling of companion lingering within her as she tried to remember who it was. _**“Hyewon-ah, don’t walk alone from now on, okay?”**_

Hyewon really wanted to remember. Who was it?

**“I’m sorry.”** Was the only thing that stuck in her mind as she played those words over and over again. 

Tears pricked Hyewon’s eyes as guilt filled her whole body, the shame eating her whole as she kept criticizing herself for not remembering.

_“미안해요 이 말 한마디는 꼭 하고 싶은데.”_

_“I’m sorry – I really want to tell you that.”_

_**“Forgive me.”** _

Hyewon continued walking, and she made herself promise that she would still keep going even if it would take her forever, just to see those eyes again.

One.

Two.

Three.

She stopped.

She took a breath.

She brushed her thumb over the bright red ring on her ring finger.

She closed her eyes. 

She imagined that eye smile.

She continued walking.

She needed to see her.

She needed to find her.

Hyewon’s heart ached when she stopped by the intersection, holding on to a post as she clutched her chest, feeling so lightheaded after trying to squeeze her brain for information. 

Who was she?

Why couldn’t she remember her?

_“한번쯤 다시 만나질까요... 정말?”_

_“Will we be able to meet once again really?”_

She kept going as she questioned herself.

The more she walked, the more she saw and glanced at unfamiliar faces, the more her hopes faltered, her heart taking blows as strange eyes meet her tired ones.

_**“Hyewon, you remember where we would always find one another in case we get lost, right?”**_ A smile. 

Her heart fluttered as she felt the ghost of that woman’s fingers playing with her own, her bright yellow dress flowing in her mind. _**“I will always wait for you there, Hyewon-ah.”**_

_“언제쯤 그게 이뤄질까요.. 정말?”_

_“When will that come true, really?”_

Those words rang in her ears as if it was whispered by the winds as she walked, and she balled her hands into fists as she held onto words.

**“She said she will wait.”** Hyewon whispered lowly to herself as she built up her determination once more.

**“I will find you. I will meet you there.”** Hyewon was never one to break her promises.

_“걷다 보면 그대 흔적 하나 찾게 될까 봐.”_

_“As I walk along, in case I find traces of you.”_

Finding someone you can’t remember in a place where you don’t remember as well would be a tiring mission for anyone, even if they are the best of the best out there. What more if you’re a beaten up woman with no way of knowing who she was trying to find except to remember her features that her heart can only supply? 

Hyewon could never go up to anyone to ask for help, finding it fruitless if she described the woman in her heart as she would sound so…basic. She can only rely on herself and herself only.

But it’s hard.

But she could manage.

Anything for the woman in her heart.

Anything for the woman who keeps her heart alive.

Looking with her eyes so strained with pain and hurt and longing, Hyewon knew it was bit awkward and strange, but she’s a person in a mission, to see the one her heart is longing and had been calling for every time she open her eyes, she had to do it. She needs to do it, even if the feeling of dread started growing as every passing minute her mind starting to not recall the same feeling she feels every time she sees those eyes in the back of her mind.

_“나는 오늘도 길을 나서죠.”_

_“I go out to the streets again today.”_

It brings tears in her eyes.

_“나 숨도 못 쉴만큼 힘이 드네요,”_

_“I’m suffering to the point where I can’t breathe,”_

Hyewon wiped her tears again and started walking forward, determined to see those eyes, that smile, that face, once again.

_“하지만 다시 볼 수 있단 맘에 살아요.”_

_“But I live with the heart of never being able to see you again.”_

Hyewon stopped on her tracks quickly when she saw darkness passed over her eyes, the images of the woman in her heart starting to get blurry, and fading, and she shuddered.

She’s starting to forget.

She squeezed her eyes shut as she pressured her brain to keep the images alive, begging to herself to keep remembering.

She couldn’t afford to forget.

She knew it was dangerous game to play. 

To remember and find.

Though the woman held her heart, the said thing wears out.

And Hyewon’s afraid that she wouldn’t be able to meet the woman once again before it fails.

_**“Hold on for a little bit more.”** _

Hyewon continued her journey, taking a sharp turn from the street she was walking.

_“시간이 멈춰서 그댈 내게 허락한다면,”_

_“If time stops and allows me to see you again,”_

Hyewon halted and turned and stared at a very peculiar store, seeing distant wavering figures of her and that person, of her joy, of her laugh.

She felt her heart jump.

She thought she heard her voice.

_**“Hyewon-ah, I love you!”** _

_The same words died before her lips as the figures got blown by the wind, but before the memory could disappear, she saw herself smile._

_“사랑해요, 이 말 한다미는 꼭 하고 싶은데.”_

_“I love you – I really want to tell you that.”_

She wondered if she got to tell her those words.

_“내일은 어느 곳에 그대 있을까요?”_

_“Where will you be tomorrow?”_

Hyewon stopped and sat on one of the chairs outside the store, staring at her hand, particularly her ring finger where a bright red ring hugged it tight. She closed her eyes and thought about her again, a vision of her throwing her head back while laughing playing at the screen of her mind, and she felt that familiar tug again, a smile displaying quickly on her worn-out face.

She still feel that amazing feeling.

She still hasn’t lost it.

She kept her eyes closed, basking in the feeling of being able to feel her faint presence.

Maybe she’ll stay here for a while to recharge.

She’ll take anything that she can get.

_“혹시 그대도 나를 찾고 있지 않나요?”_

_“Aren’t you looking for me too?”_

Hyewon walked the street until the very end, finding herself standing before the entrance of a small park where she could only see a swing set and a monkey bar on the far right corner of the place, and other than that, it was mostly trees.

**“Aunt Hyewon? What are you doing here?”** A small blonde teenage girl approached Hyewon, confusion and worry written all over her face. **“Auntie, you were just here yesterday, you shouldn’t go here too much, you live so far away, I’m scared that your legs might give out while you’re on your way here.”**

Hyewon stared at the girl as she reeled back and squished her brain to remember this girl’s name.

But she couldn’t.

Nothing popped up.

So she settled on watching as the girl talked to her.

The girl didn’t stay too long, only reminding Hyewon not to stay too long in the park since night time would come soon, a fact that Hyewon had not noticed.

She had been walking around the city for almost the whole day. 

As she watched the teenager girl walk away, something the girl had said struck her.

_“I’ll text Tzuyu that you’re here. I know you’re missing Aunt Eunbi again.”_

**Eunbi.**

And like the sunrise she had seen through her window before she stepped out of her home, the sunlight that shone before her when she had escaped her neighborhood, her love’s name flashed across her mind like the sun greeting the world as it spin. 

The light feeling of ignorant bliss settled through her nerves as her heart rejoiced for a future reunion.

_“꼭 한번 그댈 만나야 해요.. 나는.”_

_“I really have to meet you.”_

And now, Hyewon’s eyes finally let the tears out as her mind cleared, and everything comes into light once again. The beating of her heart slowed down as her tears took their time to flow down her cheeks, staining her shirt, dispersing to her bandaged arm, but it was all left unnoticed.

She remembered now.

Hyewon started working her legs as she ran, not minding the people looking at her as she ran for her life. She ran to see her again. Just once.

Once more.

_“꼭 한번 다시 만나야 해요.. 우린.”_

_“We really have to meet again.”_

**“I’m coming, my love.”** Words slipped from her mouth the same time her tears came out of her eyes, shallow but rapid breathing soon followed due to all the running she’d been doing, and she ignored the call of attention from her nerves when she felt the searing pain on her knees.

No.

Nothing mattered more than Eunbi.

She stopped running when she saw Eunbi from a distance, and a pained laugh escaped her lips, her eyes an endless dam of tears.

**“Eunbi-ah.”**

_“울다 보면 내 눈물에 그대 비춰질까 봐,”_

_“As I cry, in case you will be reflected in my tears,”_

She stopped before Eunbi, tears still freely flowing down her cheeks from her eyes, and nothing seemed to ache but her heart.

Her voice rang in her ears as it struck her heart.

_**“Hyewon-ah, you kept your promise.”** _

_“오늘도 눈물이 나나 봐요.”_

_“Again today, tears fall.”_

_**“Thank you for everything.”** _

Hyewon couldn’t help but release a loud sob as she fell on her knees, kneeling before Eunbi.

**“Let’s meet once again, Eunbi-ah.”**

Hyewon stayed before the tomb, sobbing as she finally remember all, the promise, the place, the tied pinky fingers of promise, the scene, the feeling.

**“Mom, it’s time to stop wandering around the streets.”** She heard a soft voice speaking from her side, and she recalled it. 

She’s familiar to it.

She felt hands on her slacking shoulders, and the bandage on her arm, the aching of her busted lip and her bruises, suddenly disappeared. 

**“It’s time to stop revisiting your _places_.”**

She strangely lost her strength and flopped down on the ground, her legs aching from putting too much weight on it. She raised her hand to meet nothing like the ones she looked at earlier, her hands now all wrinkly and pruned.

Tzuyu hugged her from behind, tears spilling from her eyes as she stared at the tombstone placed in front of them.

**“You’re not back there anymore. You’re not freshly out of the hospital with your bandages and your busted lip and bruised skin.”** Hyewon felt the girl shaking her head. **“That was years ago, Mom.”**

**“It’s time to let go of the past.”** Hyewon shook her head, not wanting to accept the reality, but this was the reality she had come to lived ever since she lost the woman in her heart. **“It’s time to forgive yourself.”**

**“It’s time to stop listening to that song.”** Hyewon had been walking the streets for how many years, everyday, thinking she was her past self looking for her lost love, only to remember in the end, and to relive the painful memories as she finds herself beside Eunbi once again.

She felt her daughter sob at her back, hugging her tight. Another pound of ache fell in her heart, and she can feel it break every time her daughter took her breath, but she couldn’t find it in her to console her.

Her eyes couldn’t leave her love.

_They finally met once again._

Tzuyu snaked her hand along Hyewon’s wrinkly arm, slipping her young fingers on Hyewon’s old ones.

**“It’s not your fault you couldn’t reach her in time.”**

**“She wouldn’t like to see you like this.”**

**“And neither am I.”**

**“Mom,”** Tzuyu pat Eunbi’s tombstone and turned to Hyewon, tears welling up in her own brown eyes, the same eyes Hyewon sees every time she closes her own. It’s like seeing her again. _**“it’s time to let Mama go.”**_


End file.
